jackedoff:

turn on: when all my coloring pencils are sharpened and pointy

(via humorking)

towritepoems:

my chemistry teacher calls babies “fresh humans”

(via humorking)

swanqueenidiot:

Okay so the Colbert Report posted a link to the Ellen Page interview, right

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And I was already happy it was a fan favorite. But THE COMMENTS

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I MEAN

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IT’S JUST TOO GREAT

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ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM AND MAPLE LEAF

(via humorking)

laughhard:

I think I stumbled on the Internet’s greatest Yelp review.

(via daddysplatinumcard)

hotwinger:

Tryna get schoolwork done before that deadline like

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(via thetowndrugdealer)